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Post by mooncalled on Jul 8, 2008 13:38:15 GMT 10
The sound of sadness flowed to Sashi's ears, she couldn't believe her ears at all. For the time she had known Denser, which wasn't very long she had known him to not hold any emotion in his voice. Sure his icy blue eyes told her a story of pain and regret, but nothing else hinted of that kind of a life. Sashi couldn't help herself she raised her gaze and stared at Denser. Something about the black wolf got to her,she felt a ting of togetherness, she shook her head she was being ignorant.
She knew Denser for only a little while not enough to say that they felt the same thing, but she couldn't help but feel she knew what he was going through. Looking to Azalea for a moment she felt sorry for the young she wolf. She had no idea had to handle such a case as Denser, Sashi wasn't even sure she knew how to deal with him. But one thing she did known was that Denser had to feel better about himself before he was willing to open up to others.
Denser needed someone to trust, he needed someone to understand his problem and then he would feel like he belonged. She knew this because she secretly wished that someone would be a friend to her, to understand her. She wished that she could help him out she felt like she needed to like it was her duty.
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HalfMoon
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Post by HalfMoon on Jul 10, 2008 22:22:36 GMT 10
Azalea was taken off guard by Denser's tone. She had not realised just how cold his voice had been until she heard him now. He was sad, she knew, and maybe he wanted to stay. Maybe that's why he was sad. She knew without doubt, by his words and what little she had found out about him, that he had done something horrible. Or, at least, he felt he was. Maybe it really wasn't, he didn't seem like he would purposely hurt anyone.
'I think, in this situation, even if for a little while' she started, feeling a little more resigned in her struggle 'I could use anyone I can find.' She knew her words were more than true. She was young, she understood her vulnerability. Sashi would even be safer then she was by herself. And certainly a stronger backing then Azalea could provide. But she wouldn't be young forever, and without a doubt she would grow into the position well.
She wondered at least where he would be going; she knew her words would mean nothing, and change less. Maybe she should escort him off the pack lands. It seemed something an alpha would do, if not a little cold and unwelcoming, and she did know Denser a little better than another who strayed onto the land. Maybe she could escort him and take Sashi to show her around a little.
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Denser Iscariot
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Post by Denser Iscariot on Jul 10, 2008 23:18:53 GMT 10
Denser hesitated in answering. He even thought of keeping silent. There was no question he had to answer. No words that needed reply. Nothing but his mind thinking hard about what to do next.
Sure, she could. She was at the beginning. But he was finished. There was nothing left he could do. No one was inside this black, cold body anymore. Of course, there had to be somebody. But Denser felt empty. He'd never been able to make it undone nor to atone it. So he had to go. Whereto? He didn't know.
'So I hope earnestly, you find the right ones',he answered finally. He didn't want to turn his head and see what she was thinking or how she was looking at him. So he dropped it and went on. There was nothing to bring back what he had lost. He was assured. His brother was death and his soul had gone.
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Post by mooncalled on Jul 11, 2008 2:34:20 GMT 10
Sashi kept quiet she listened to the words of the others, it was made clear to her that Azalea knew as much about this wolf as Sashi herself had. Sure their was more to the alphess's knowledge of Denser, but not enough to keep him here. She wondered what the black wolf had done so wrong that he felt his life was useless. Had it been the same situation as herself, did he cause someone close to him to die.
Sashi's eyes turned dark as she remembered her father, he was only looking out for her well being. If she hadn't existed then he would still be alive, and Sashi would still be with her pack. Her nose scrunched in anger, darn that Alpha why did he have to kill her father, why didn't she go in to save him when she heard the noise. She sat on the cold ground looking up into the clouded dark sky, why? Was the only question that ever plagued her mind, just why?
Sashi looked back at Denser and Azalea she wasn't sure if she would be good for them, she could cause them the same pain. Something wet hit Sashi's ear, shaking her delicate head she looked toward the sky. Tiny white flakes began to fall around her, was it really winter already. No it couldn't be, but the tiny flakes stated otherwise, the tiny piece of snow scattered over the ground starting to turn the red and orange ground white.
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HalfMoon
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Post by HalfMoon on Jul 14, 2008 18:10:29 GMT 10
Azalea had suspected Denser would react in a similar way. She didn't expect anything else from him really. She had little to no experience dealing with whatever it was that made a wolf think the way he did. She had more to learn in the dealings of life then she had in anything else. But, she didn't wish to rush such things, not if it left her in such a state.
Azalea studied Sashi for a moment. The white wolfess seemed about the same age to her as Denser did, maybe she had similar knowledge. 'I know you don't know the land well' Azalea started, noticing, as Sashi had, the white that was falling 'But maybe you can show Denser a path.' She really didn't wish to be completely blunt with what she meant by it; she didn't hate the black wolf, although he was distant and such things probably meant nothing to him. She was hoping that she didn't have to go into further detail.
Azalea hoped it would not be the last she saw of Denser, but she hoped more then anything he would realise his worth. It was more saddening his opinion of himself then anything. She thought it best to have a good reason to be around, if not one might lose the will to live. She hate to see him go, and leave when it was her job to she him a way not really Sashi's, but she figured she should see Altar and let him know what was going on.
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Post by mooncalled on Jul 15, 2008 5:51:33 GMT 10
Azalea words brought Sashi out of her thoughts, she hadn't expected the Alphess to talk to her. After all she was dealing with another at the moment, but her words were heard by the white wolf. She wanted Sashi to help Denser, it was clear that she could pick up similar feelings of ashame between the two wolves. Sashi shook her head she felt stupid for coming on strong, she hated it when people knew her emotion so clearly.
But still the request was shocking to Sashi, how could she help the lost wolf? He seemed so far gone that it would take an expert to bring him back, which Sashi was not. Of course she knew a thing or two about pain, and being alone, or hating oneself for something that ultimately couldn't be helped. But she had no real idea about what had happened to Denser, what was his past like? Bowing her head toward Azalea Sashi moved her large frame forward toward the path that Denser had retreated.
Looking back at the she wolf she spoke to her in a low rumble, I will try, but I will not promise. She turned to follow Denser's foot steps she wasn't in any hurry to catch up to him, she thought it be better if he relaxed his nerves first before she spoke to him. The only way she could thing of making Denser stay was to reach inside and show him that things happened. But Sashi didn't even know how to do that herself, she was still fighting hate after all. One thing was clear to her however, if Denser wanted to leave, even after reasoning, she would not stand in his way.
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Denser Iscariot
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Post by Denser Iscariot on Jul 15, 2008 6:15:25 GMT 10
Denser did hear, what the two faes were talking about. But he didn't react, didn't notice at all. He didn't care. Maybe it was only a gesture of politeness, maybe Azaela wanted to be sure that he was leaving. Wether this meant leaving straightly or leaving safely, he couldn't say. And he didn't think of.
Instead of this, he was thinking of nothing and bothered with himself. He could not imagine what to do next. It was like standing on a dock and starring into the deep black cold water. There was something inside him that resisted the hate, that wanted to come out again, to be what it had been. And on the other hand there was darkness.
How could he laugh again someday? Only trying was like spitting on his brothers tomb. He was not able to be himself anymore. To be what he had used to be. He was somebody else now. no, he wasn't even anybody. He was only a shadow. Cursed to live, to go on and live with what he had done. A traitor.
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HalfMoon
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Post by HalfMoon on Jul 15, 2008 20:51:32 GMT 10
Azalea smiled and nodded at Sashi's words. She was relieved she didn't have to explain her meaning. But, she was mostly hoping that Denser didn't misinterpret the meaning, either. She drew a deep breath to calm herself, she didn't really want to go, she felt attached to the two; she figured that was good, though, as that's how a pack should be, in her eyes. Even if Denser didn't want to stay and nothing short of god's work would change that.
Of course, she knew Sashi couldn't promise, and Azalea certainly didn't want her too; only to try, she wasn't going to force anything unwanted on anyone. She just hoped that it would show Denser a little light for the future. She sat and watched Sashi catch up with the black male. She didn't want to go, even though she felt she should at least speak to someone who she knew was still one hundred percent on her side.
Although Azalea hated to admit it, she knew now more then ever that she still needed her mum. Or, at least someone to give her some support and remind her which direction she should be headed.
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Post by mooncalled on Jul 16, 2008 2:21:15 GMT 10
The pace was kept to a jog when Sashi caught up with Denser, being considerate of him she remained a step or two behind. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she planned to do something before they reached the end of the road. Sashi looked down at her feet she could barely see them they blended with the ground, looking over to Denser paws she noticed they stuck out clear as day. She knew that he was going through pain of some kind, but what could she do for him.
The two came to a clearing in the forest, Sashi looked around at the new site. She indeed had no idea what was pack land or not, but she really couldn't worry about that. Looking toward Denser she noticed his long face was lost in thought. He was always thinking, what was he thinking about though? The question of the world, she thought as she slowed her pace. Stopping she sat down in the snow covered ground and looked at Denser form.What are you running from? she asked, with a cool tone.
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Denser Iscariot
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Post by Denser Iscariot on Jul 16, 2008 7:23:09 GMT 10
Denser went on. It was the easiest thing to do and he didn't want to stop or even to think of things like where he wanted to go now. He was just walking, doing nothing but that.
But Sashi's words made him stop immediately. She didn't know how deep she had struck him. He didn't want to show. But he had run away. There was nothing to run left.
'I did run away. Now, there is nothing left anymore to run away for', he answered calmly without any emotion in his voice. He didn't turn his head to look at her or something like that. He didn't want to look back.
But suddenly there was something inside him beside this icy darkness. It was a black fire that arose inside him and started to burn his soul again. He couldn't fight against it, but he didn't want anymore, as well. He lowered his head, look to the brown dead ground and resigned.
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Post by mooncalled on Jul 16, 2008 12:26:19 GMT 10
Sashi watched as Denser looked toward the ground, he hadn't looked at her, he hadn't wanted to. She didn't really mind this of course, when facing her problems, if she ever had, she knew she didn't want anyone to see her face. She watched as he seemed to be caught by something.
He had run away, those were his words he was tired of running she could almost tell. But what had he run away for? Was there something dark in his past that he couldn't forget. Sashi wondered if it had anything to do with what had happened to her, she hadn't had the courage to run away, until she was forced to. But maybe Denser had run away for reasons other then his pack hating him or wanting to use him.
Nothing to run from, I wish those words were true. Sashi looked toward the sky. She allowed the snowflakes to touch her white fur and seep through, she had thought she was done running once too, until she realized that she was running from herself. She had never faced her foe and now Denser was doing the same. She wondered if he knew he was still running, Sashi found out late herself and was now suffering for it.
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Kiba
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Post by Kiba on Jul 16, 2008 16:26:21 GMT 10
[may I join this thread?]
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Denser Iscariot
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I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
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Post by Denser Iscariot on Jul 16, 2008 23:23:33 GMT 10
Denser didn't care about the sky or the snow. He didn't even care about the other things around him. The winter was coming and maybe it would be hard and strong. There was nothing positive for a black wolf like him, now. He was alone and he was seen over far distance. No, there were no advantage in having winter.
He heard what Sashi said and it made him think without noticing. Didn't she believe him? Well, who should trust somebody like him? But how did she know? It didn't matter, but it was something that was not as dark as the rest of his thoughts and maybe he tried to get rid of the darkness before the night could catch him and kill him.
'You only run away, when you are afraid of your live. My live isn't worth a tinker's cuss.', he answered and went on. A small film of snow had already covered the earth and so his paw prints were black on the white ground. Black and empty.
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Post by mooncalled on Jul 17, 2008 5:42:33 GMT 10
She listened to Denser as she looked at the sky, she could sense a hint of self loathing in his words. She knew he was right about being afraid, you only run when your afraid. Something in his past caused him pain and suffering, that for reason unknown to her, he was dwelling in. Whatever had happened he blamed himself for and wouldn't let that go. Sashi looked at him she got to her paws and moved a little closer to him. But she did not get to close she didn't want to invade his space.
You know I too think I'm worth nothing. But there's a reason we're still alive, we just have to find out why. Sashi were told these words before herself, the Wise's wolf in her old pack had told her this. She understood what he meant, but was sure that the old timer was wrong. It was her fault the fate her farther faced, hers and only hers. She had ruined another's life, so how could she go on. One day she hoped to be free of this pity she held for herself, but for now she had more important things to worry about.
((Sure))
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Kiba
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Post by Kiba on Jul 17, 2008 15:08:33 GMT 10
Raya entered. Her tawny and white fur ripples as the muscles beneath her legs and shoulders. Blue and amber eyes scanned the wolves. With a yawn she sat down, "Hello." was the word that escaped from her maw. She looked around a little cautios at the other wolves whom she knew not.
Her odd eyes reguarded them curiously and she gave a small wolfish smile. If they were hostile she could fight but probably, she noted as she sized up the odds, not win. Best to act unhostile. She wagged her tail happily and smiled again.
[[Sorry not very long post, I lack inspiration at the moment ]]
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