Denser Iscariot
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I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on Apr 26, 2008 23:09:54 GMT 10
Denser was not sure, if he'd be glad to hear what the fae said. And he was not sure, if he was glad to hear it, at all. But he stayed still and waited for what the Alphess was up to.
The Black was thinking about what he had done in asking for joining the pack. He hadn't been in a pack for such a long time that he doubted to be able to live in one again. And he had been able to betray his brother. What could bar him from betraying wolves he doesn't even know? He was a faintheart, a traitor.
His attention went from his dark thoughts to the other wolf who was asked by Azaela what he was called. Altar, he said. It sounded strange, but there where a lot of names than might sound strange to someone who comes from far away. Denser didn't think enough about this stranger to form an opinion about him. But nevertheless he seemed a bit strange to the Black. Maybe because they had the same coat color, which irritated Denser a bit. He hadn't seen a black wolf for a long time. Thorn has been gray, even white, as their father had been. Yeah, it had to be the color of his coat...
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 1, 2008 18:40:19 GMT 10
Azalea felt herself blush slightly, all the politeness was starting to get to her. It was flattering really, but being surrounded by males wasn't something she had had a lot of practice with. She felt a little awkward, something that was seeming to become a bad habit. 'It's not a problem at all' she managed to say, which was better than sitting there looking dumb 'I would love to have both of you around, it makes the land less brooding to have a family occupying it'.
Azalea stared out across the land, her orbs dancing with the flowing grass. It was a beautiful place, but it was still big enough in whole and without a large pack to live upon it it seemed almost larger. With a start she realised that she didn't even know the land well enough to call it home - it was hers now after all. 'Denser, would you care to walk with me?' Azalea asked 'I have not yet explored all the lands bounds yet, and since it is your home and it is new to you as well, it would seem fitting'. Besides, she had only just met the two and she had accepted them into her pack, given them a chance; she knew neither of the two. Even so, she knew that Altar had lived on this very land once before, and Denser had never crossed any part of any of these lands.
Azalea, in all honesty, felt less trust towards Denser; perhaps it was because he seemed almost haunted. She doubted walking would let her know him at all, but maybe it would make her trust him.
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 2, 2008 21:48:45 GMT 10
Denser hesitated first as he heard Azaelas words. She wanted to explore her land, so she didn't know it yet. That seemed strange to him, but maybe she just arrived. But why should she want to walk with him without Altar? He didn't understand what she was up to.
It was hard for him to trust somebody he didn't know. He'd never trusted anybody except his brother and his brother had trusted him. He had trusted Denser and the result was his dead ...
To banish this thoughts from his mind, he looked at the fae again and nodded. 'If you wish me to come with you, I'll follow you', he answered.
It was difficult to agree on obedience since he had been his on master his whole life. But it seemed less difficult than forget about his betrayal or the last howl of his little brother.
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Post by BlackBlood on May 5, 2008 21:03:33 GMT 10
Envy felt a slight pang of annoyance at first as Azalea's word sunk in. He needed to have time with her, to get to know her, and he could feel the impatience ticking in his mind. It had definately been a while since his last endeavour. He would get his chance; it was the only thing he could tell himself to keep calm. He smiled understandably, though a little hurt edged his eyes at having been told to leave, even if it had been in a polite and inoffensive way. He pivoted his ears back slightly, lowering his head politely.
'Not to worry miss, I can find other things to do' Envy stated, his smile faded slightly as he picked himself up and turned to walk away. It was only because the fae trusted him more then the other, he told himself. He didn't blame her in the least if it were so, not that he was in a position to judge.
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 8, 2008 17:41:20 GMT 10
Azalea watched as Altar walked away. She felt quite bad about sending him away, but he had said he was not hurt, and he seemed to be sincere enough about it. She considered, as she watched him walk away, where it was she wanted to go, but nothing came to mind. She was even beginning to doubt what she was doing.
She sighed to herself, she had no faith in herself more of late; it seemed every decision she made she herself doubted. She was her own biggest critic. Maybe it was only because she now had a variety of choices to make, and it just seemed to her that the ones she decided to pick were the wrong ones. Yes, that was probably it, it would've been better for everyone if she had decided to quietly keep her eye on Denser. If he really wasn't to trust, although she somewhat doubted it would be the case, then she was only letting him know by prying into his life; or going for a walk, as it were.
Azalea turned back to Denser, not even hinting at getting up to go for a walk, she had forgotten about the idea for the time being. She felt more like a pup playing at alpha with just him now, and the size difference didn't help the feeling. Despite the things that swam through her mind she smiled, wondering if he had meant the words to have two meanings. Probably not, but she smiled anyway.
'You said you came here, was it far?' she asked curiously, trying to steer away from the idea of going for a walk, hoping she wouldn't have to move.
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 9, 2008 5:00:14 GMT 10
Denser gazed at her without noticing. There was nothing else to look at that'd have needed his attention. And it was impolite to not look at somebody while talking with him. It was impolite to stare at him, as well. But he was deep in thoughts and far away.
Azaela seemed to be busy with the other male, anyway. So that he had the chance to tidy his mind. Was ist really his wish to join them? Well, no. It was actually not. But he needed to be with somebody. He needed to be needed by somebody without wanting to have it true. He had lost his brother, the only one that has ever needed him. He was afraid of something like that happening again. But he was not able to force against this wish to be needed again.
As the fae looked at him again, he was pushed back into the here again. He looked at her, puzzled for a moment, but then got the point. If it was far? It was far. Further away than she'd propably be able to imagine. So far away, that he could not count the footsteps that he had needed to come here. So far that he could not remember the raindrops that had fallen on him or the heartbeats that had pushed him further.
But he just nodded and answered: 'Yes, it's far away. Too far, to tell.'
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
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Post by HalfMoon on May 12, 2008 18:27:13 GMT 10
Azalea, a little sceptical about Denser's answer, tried to reason with herself; she had never been away from this land, she had not even been on this part of the land and she had lived here her whole life. Maybe he knew that. She almost laughed out loud at herself for the thought, that was impossible, none could know where someone had or hadn't been by looking at them.
Her mother hadn't always lived here, she had been far, but maybe not as far as this male had been. Her mother didn't really tell her much about her past anyway, Azalea sometimes wondered if she really knew it or if she had forgotten. Besides, the wear of travel showed in the ebony male's face, and it wasn't her place to demand him to tell her his past, such things didn't make you evil.
A sombre expression overcame her, the worst kinds of history started far away, why would you leave far away unless you were running? But, of course, you wouldn't run in such a manner unless you were perhaps in trouble. Or maybe if you had been driven out. One better then the other, running from bad or running because you were bad. Then again, there were plenty of lands in between, it would only make sense to run so far from bad.
She considered it for a moment, finally, very reluctantly, deciding to move on. Azalea glanced down at her white paws, studying the dirt that stained the pure fur. White was such a hard colour, there wasn't a wolf who couldn't spot you in a field, and at least with black or brown dirt didn't show. She loved to roll around in dirt.
'I've been here my whole life, with my sisters and brother' she commented quietly, feeling that it was only appropriate to share some of her life if she was going to ask random questions about another's. 'Are you evil?' she asked bluntly, although she wouldn't have asked if she hadn't thought he was more likely good. It was a silly question really, who would say yes?
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 12, 2008 21:24:17 GMT 10
Denser didn't want to starer at her, so he looked around seeing nothing in particular. She didn't seem to be content with his answer, but who wonders? He didn't answer, he used a excuse, a few words that told nothing. But what else should he say? He came from far away and had never cared about the name of the land or the name of his family, his pack. Names were nothing else than short words instead of a verbose explanation.
He was deep in thoughts till Azaela asked him a realy strange question. Was he evil? It was a foreign question, he had never been asked something like that. But on the other hand, it was not stupid to ask. Of course, you mustn't regard on the answer but how it was given. But it was not stupid to ask.
Denser hesitated a few heartbeats. Was he evil? It was not easy to answer "no". Cause he maybe was not up to be evil. But on the other hand, he had been without doubt. He had betrayed his brother for his own life. He had been running away. Before he could answer, he saw the face of his little brother who'd never smile him, who'd never grin and laugh or say, he'd loved him.
Denser sunk his head and looked at the earth. He didn't answer Azaela, he answered himself as he said: "Yes, I am." It had to look very strange, maybe even foolish. But he could't lie and he didn't want to avoid.
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HalfMoon
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Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 15, 2008 18:53:14 GMT 10
Azalea almost didn't hear what he had answered, presuming it would be a no, and was just ready to to appologise for the question; of course he wasn't evil. It took a moment for her mind to actually register what the answer truly was. She blanched, finding her feet quickly.
Denser may not have been confident in the answer, she would have had more malice in her words and have said it to whoever had asked it, but she was in a near panic. She had heard it and was not willing to write it off as misinterpretation. She forced herself to calm down, trying to keep her expression even; despite her auds flattened against her skull she could pass herself off as fairly shaken. Azalea braced herself expectantly, not wishing to be caught off guard if he decided to attack; she was ready to bolt in the opposite direction if need be. It would be pointless to fight one who was such larger then yourself.
'Well then,' Azalea struggled to keep her voice even, her emerald eyes watching him warily 'If you're so evil then why haven't you attacked me'. She didn't want to provoke him, and she wished suddenly that she hadn't challenged Denser; the last thing she wanted to do was lose a fight, or run away like a wounded rabbit. She knew, from what her mother had taught her, that evil was easily provoked. She wondered idly if she could eat her words, maybe if she could see them?
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 15, 2008 22:12:00 GMT 10
Denser looked at her, waiting for an answer, a reaction. He didn't have to wait for long. And he wasn't surprised about her reaction at all. Most wolves would have reacted that way, maybe even more aggressive or fearful. It hit him to be looked at like this. But what else could be the answer?
As she asked him, why he hadn't attacked her yet, he looked at her, calm and even a bit bright. It was the wrong word to describe his look but there was no other one. It was a question he had a simple answer. It was a close situation and maybe a chance to explain himself without losing his face.
"Why should I attack you?", he asked her. You could see,that there was no movement of aggression or surprise. It was a nearly inexpressive question. He didn't want to look like somebody who wants to get her trust to attack her when she was inattentive. It was a simple question, saying that he was not up to do harm to somebody without reason.
But on the other hand, what was his reason to betray his brother?
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 19, 2008 18:51:07 GMT 10
Azalea braced herself for some sort of brutal attack. She waited and waited, although Denser had already asked her why. When the attack didn't come she visibly relaxed; in illustration, it almost would've seemed as though the invisible strings that held her up had been cut. She flicked her auds forward, curious despite herself at his answer. At first she had thought it some ruse to make her calm, like some cruel joke. She had realised that it was a sincere question.
'Because...' Azalea almost seemed to insist in her answer, as if urging him to. It would be a perfectly obvious answer to someone whose heart was black, and she dared to launch into too great a detail. 'Because.. well, evil ones don't need a reason' She continued, feeling as though she was more explaining it to herself then anything, no one really questioned why 'I suppose you would attack me because I'm... vulnerable?'.
It was the most curious thing, to have to explain to someone who had pronounced himself evil, to explain why they would attack her. Azalea almost felt foolish about the whole thing. He obviously wasn't evil, he didn't even know how to be.
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 19, 2008 23:14:57 GMT 10
Denser looked at her. He could see how she was searching for an answer. And contrary to expectations she found one. It was a simple way to show, that he was not evil at all. A way he prefered. But now, he hadn't been up to attest, that he was not evil.
Was it not evil to betray his own brother? To let him die, while he himself ran away? Was it not evil to hear his cries, his yells and his yowls while standing far away on a hill and being safe? Yes, it was. It was the most evil thing, Denser could imagine to do. And since he did it, he was evil without any question.
"I have not in mind to attack you. Never mind if you are vulnerable or not.", he answered. No, he didn't want to attack her at all. But he could not swear to not do her any harm. He had sworn this a long time ago. He had sworn to protect his brother and now he was dead.
Denser looked down. He was not sure if somebody could see in his icy eyes what he was thinking. Probably not, but he was not sure and he didn't want to let anybody know about him and his deed.
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 20, 2008 20:11:14 GMT 10
Azalea brightened, relaxing the rest of the way. She was still wary, but at least Denser said he had no mind to attack her. It was comforting to hear at least. She couldn't help wondering at his obvious aloofness. She had never really considered that an evil trait, but she had to wonder at her decision. His eyes were cold looking. Eyes were supposed to say a lot about someone, his seemed to hide more then they told.
She gave herself a mental check. Eyes weren't everything. It was like judging another on what colour fur they had. By that way, she would be considered good, clean and pure, almost majestic she would say. But she did bad things, she was more oftne dirty then clean and pure? Well, she was innocent. She could only snort at majestic. Majestic was the farthest thing to describe her. And, by judging on fur colour, black fur would be considered evil and untrustworthy. She hardly found that the case; her brother had black fur and he was far from evil. In fact, he was quite sweet.
Azalea could see him look down unavoidably, she ignored it for the time; it wasn't an aggressive gesture and that was what she was waiting for more then anything. 'That sounds very evil to me' she said, obviously unconvinced, sarcasm hinting the edges of her voice; she hadn't mean it hurtfully, she found that she was more talking out-loud then anything. 'I'm still not convinced you're evil' Azalea continued 'You certainly don't think very spitefully'
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Denser Iscariot
Accepted
I'm a Traitor I'm one of God's mistakes%\0\%
Posts: 88
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Post by Denser Iscariot on May 21, 2008 2:44:32 GMT 10
Denser had to agree with what Azaela said, even as he didn't show it. She was right, he didn't think very spitefully at all. On the contrary. He had been educated to be gently and to respect life as something precious. And that was what he thought and had always in mind. The worth it was to have betrayed such a life, a life that was that important to him.
But he could not explain it. There was no single word that would be able to leave his mouth, which could have described what he was feeling or what he had done. And to avoid that Azaela would ask him about this, he said in a really approving way: "You wanted to explore your land, didn't you?"
He didn't want to sound rude or even nasty. But he tried to change the theme of their conversation or even to stop the conversation in a gentle and sensible way.
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HalfMoon
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Feb 27th%\2\%
Posts: 772
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Post by HalfMoon on May 21, 2008 22:05:22 GMT 10
Azalea was caught unaware by the question. She had completely forgotten about that whole idea after he had said he was evil. It was to be expected to forget about taking a walk alone with someone who proclaimed to be evil. She had remembered that she did want to take a walk around, at least, but now she was a not so sure.
Denser didn't look very confident in his own proclamation of being evil, and he hadn't made an evil move against her or said an evil word to her. But then saying you were evil when you weren't was dishonesty, and dishonest people couldn't be trusted either. Maybe not for the same reasons. If he was only dishonest then perhaps he would attack her when she had her guard down and her back turned, that was more of an evil trait.
'You're right' She said almost as if it was his idea. Azalea did need to explore her land, despite whether or not she really wanted to, and she had sat around in an indecisive manner for too long. She thought into things too much. 'I do want to explore a bit' She felt a little awkward as she looked about herself, trying to think of a good place to start. Was it normal for an alpha to waltz into the land and decide they wanted to make it their home?
'I don't suppose you have a good place to start?' Azalea asked, feeling a little foolish that she wasn't confident enough to choose a lead for herself.
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